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The Wavering Wanderer

by natestapes

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1.
(Intro) Dear listeners, Fo those of you with your ears wide open And your mouths wide shut. For those whose words aren’t enough… (Verse) They tell me, If I make a one hit wonder I could really be the greatest, But I’ve done my calculations: It’s way better just to be myself If I focus on my music that could be my wealth, I’ve got big drams so I sleep quite well. I sleep late but I’m an early bird, Jut got out of bed But I roll it up and burn it first Everyday’s a stage And every stage is just a learning curve. The past reflects in, current events It’s like I need to lose focus Just to make it circumvent. The grass looks greener so I hop over the fence “Hold on, he’s not sober again! Nearly every time that he’s holding a pen…” It flows when I write But I hold when I send. I don’t count every penny; Every pound; Every note that I get I don’t smoke to forget or escape It’s a floor, But I’m sitting on the ground so it’s fake. I’ve been standing here with clouds in my face But the ground is in sight, I can’t land perfect So for now I sit tight You can’t predict my words that’s a power trip vibe. They say I’m too quiet, I’ll be louder this time I’ll be pacing around Please spare me the mic - Stand. The length of a song is like my life span, So I play it on repeat If you didn’t listen you can spare me the retweet I’m labeled a rapper But I’m different if you meet me - Nothing like the artists that you’re seeing on your T.V. screen. I love it when I see green trees When the leaves fall off is when I - Seek peace… But I don’t have to fin it when the sun comes out Mind feels like the sky when the sun goes down, I’ve been taking on water but your sun won’t drown. Mum & Dad, I’m amazed at how the world goes round. I leave a piece of me in everyone I meet, You can’t take you can leave it Just know every song can speak I know I’m very incomplete. I’m not happy but I’m merry in defeat, the sand gets hot so I’m burying my feet But if I, Run fast I will barely even feel it I overstep my boundaries without steeping over feelings, Running down my heart while forgetting how to heal it. I’ve been rejected in the past But I’ve reflected on those scars, They have helped me grow And they have set me on my path - But lately I’m forgetting who we are And I’m forgetting who I am, Writing in the dark Because today was never planned I know the game is in my hands, I get knocked down but I don’t wait to understand It’s too late I’ve just blazed another gram. I’ve been waiting for the trin to come, Many passed by, but I waited for my favorite one - When the train arrived it was full not even space for one - There was no space for me, The train set off without showing me a vacancy Now I see that week was all just make believe. I should just believe in myself. I tend to lose faith when I don’t do well - I try and speak out But throat’s to swollen So I smoke to L’s. The summer’s here I really need to see the brighter side I can’t believe I got lost inside her eyes. Now I’m feeling dizzy and I’m paralysed I guess there’s really no such thing as paradise Or happiness in people - The only place I’ll find it Is inside me once I’m peaceful. They say I need to change myself Before I change the world we’re living in - I need to change myself because F*** the way I’m living it. I’ve always been so stupid And I’ve always been so privileged, I usually tend to start and never finish things…
2.
(Chorus) We could make it rain In the blink of an eye. Heads in the clouds While we sink to the sky. Now I’m seeing skylines, Focused on the highlights - Of my life. (Verse 1) I’m just living my life, Getting no breaks But I finish my meal When I get a full plate. If you get a full plate Then You’d better seek space, Space in the mind you neglect each day If your days don’t change Then your ways won’t change, Brain stays trapped in the same old cage And your halo fades, The cage won’t break If you’re, Gonna think then you may aaswell say. I’m spirited. I’m a spiritual lyricist, I right bars, past when the beat finishes. My task is to fix these premises Fix this world, ‘Cause these assholes blemish it. And we work just to pay these bills, Work so hard and it may seem real - But it’s fake! I don’t wanna’ drown this way, I should let my third eye wake. (Chorus) We could make it rain In the blink of an eye. Heads in the clouds While we sink to the sky. Now I’m seeing skylines, Focused on the highlights - Of my life. (Verse) This life is a one way ticket, If your trains here then you better not miss it. You’ve pushed way passed your limits, Push harder you’re not quite finished! This is the rise of the titans People are being enlightened And realising we are not free We’ve been blinded by all of the lies, Not often it’s all of the time. Your T.V. is washing your brain, Your music is much of the same, No wonder you’re losing your way, Maybe you’re choosing your pain. Hold that flow for the ending The end is the start of a new dimension, Loving yourself is the one true friendship Loving yourself is the one true friendship. (Chorus) We could make it rain In the blink of an eye. Heads in the clouds While we sink to the sky. Now I’m seeing skylines, Focused on the highlights - Of my life.
3.
I AM ENOUGH 02:52
I am enough, We are all enough Just the way we are. And people ten to forget that We’re all very self critical but… At the end of the day We’re stuck with ourselves for the rest of our lives and… Long after that so, We may as well make peace with ourselves. You know? I am a human being, And in your face It’s my reflexion that I’m truly seing. I’ve been reflecting on my inner demons, And I’m perplexed and I’ve been stressed Because I chose to feed them. But now I’m moving past it Been trespassing through the darkness, I was trapped inside my mind But I pursued regardless. I’m always changing like the seasons do - I became the master of my life because I needed to Nourishing my brain with all these books that I’ve been reading through. And that’s a deeper blessing, I’ve invested in my music and I’ll keep investing ‘Cause that’s my destiny. Now I think it’s time to change. Because I’ve been ridding title waves. Now I think it’s time to change. Because I’ve been ridding title waves. I’m bringing out the best in me The voice inside my mind Is either helpful or pretends to be, The pain that I’ve endure up to this point Was always meant for me - That shit was always meant for me. The path that I have chosen keeps on closing But I’m hoping if I focus Then I’ll start to find some openings. I’ve been through hopelessness & hopefulness, Getting so depressed About the times that I’ve been motionless - I’m moving now, And all the problems living in my head Have started moving out I thought that I’d been losing ground. But, Life will often send me round in circles When I need to find a lesson And I used to find it hurtful
Now I tend to find it useful… Now I think it’s time to change. Because I’ve been ridding title waves. Now I think it’s time to change. Because I’ve been ridding title waves. I write to paint a picture, I’m writing scriptures from a soul That’s formed of fine elixirs. My life is changing swiftly, I’m like a chimney - Blowing smoke until I’m finally empty. But I do not need a substance In my eyes I’m plenty Yes I am plenty I’m enough I keep advancing gently. The sun is setting Count my blessings I’m alive and well. I’m finally getting to the point where I can find myself.
4.
(Verse 1) I’m sitting in the grass Peacefully alone, Laying here forever Man I’m never going home. Writing in these books It’s like I’m filling them with hope, Rarely space for hooks I’m writing vividly in bold, yo. I know I’ll see things differently when I am old I had a few epiphanies and now I’m stoked. Everybody’s doing What everyone else approves, Especially in music Stop making it for the views - I’m making music to deliver you the truth. I’m making moves and I’m making them real smooth.
You can take my wings away, I’ve learnt to touch the sky In like one hundred thousand different ways. I’m tired of doing the same things on all these different days, If I can recluse from the matrix another mission fades. (Another mission fades) I’ve been sitting waiting, And over complicating, I should really take my time so I can hone the basics. (Chorus) Basically We base our dreams on make believe, But dreams are only dreams until you take a leap, And we can only speak For what we claim to see, Filling up my heart So I don’t have to feel the vacancy. (Verse 2) Who are we real and truly? We act like life’s a movie I’m just going with the flow, There’s water running through me - And I’m appreciating everything that’s coming to me I forget to breath sometimes When life is getting so confusing. This is art work and it’s hard work, Kept going straight right up until my path curved. I 'ain’t never been the same since my heart hurt, Filling it with laughter, Now it only half hurts. Rainy are made to wash the pain away, But we sit and watch the rain and let the pain invade. Are we really just afraid of what a change will take? You will free your mins When you decide to break the chains. (Chorus) Basically We base our dreams on make believe, But dreams are only dreams until you take a leap, And we can only speak For what we claim to see, Filling up my heart So I don’t have to feel the vacancy.
5.
(Verse 1) You can’t reach your dreams with no sleep Follow that stream that’s seeming so deep, It’s tough when it all costs P’s I don’t have a job no my job has me so I - Write until my soul can’t speak, Eyes on the prize but I don’t find peace So I take it - One day at a time. Mum and Dad, I’m gonna be fine I hit a couple lows so I went and got high. (Bridge) I know that the risks aren’t fair Everyone hopes that the kids don’t hear but, The kids know more than we think - Raising the sail in a boat that is sinking. I won’t stand with my nose in sink, Maybe I’m scared but I know what I’m thinking. And I know the truth is a lie, And I don’t want that so I’m chasing to fight. We do what we chose with our lives, Chose the recluse or the view from up high! (Verse 1 Pt. II) Dreams are achieved and love is about peace, Dreams were relief when love could have drowned me. Now I dream of setting a crowd free Forgetting about love but it came and found me. I see ghosts, visions of the past Reminiscing is imprisoned when it lasts, You just need to rehabilitate your heart You can’t find light if you’re living in the dark And it’s simple: Money kills dreams. Money can’t talk so your money won’t speak. I’ll walk until I’m running this scene Sharing these thoughts that have never been free. If your ears weren’t here I would never be free Would I ever be me? Would I ever find peace like I do now. I’m grateful for every single verse that i spewed out I carefully search for the words that I spew now.
6.
And I should love myself, Because I’ve been there every time that there was no-one else. And I’ve been here every time that I was overwhelmed Diving in the shark infested ocean just to save myself. This life’s a lucid dream That’s why I’m losing sleep. I’m losing focus, no I’m focused on my losing streak, Feeling homeless ‘cause my house is not a home to me I’m feeling broken ‘cause I’m not what I had hoped to be. And if you take away my pain I will never be the same. So I make peace with all my demons I just want to live the way I’m dreaming. My mind’s in twenty places. I’m hyperventilating, I cry for help inside my mind But then I never take it. It’s like I’m running from myself Inside this crazy matrix. I love my music And I really hope that I can make it. I hope my voice is heard, Know I’m not the first, I’m been writing And then I’m hanging on to every word. I make mistakes And then I pay for them at every turn. I’ve been patient, I’ve been waiting since my date of birth. I think my heart’s in pieces, That’s why I’m hardly speaking, I’m hardly moving Still I’m moving through the harshest beatings I mask my past beneath my scares Until my scares are bleeding. I felt the vastness of my karma when I started breathing. And now I see my angels, I know that seeing’s painful, The truth will tear your life apart and it will rearrange you. Believing in yourself is what will truly save you. I said believing in yourself Is what will truly save you. And if you take away my pain I will never be the same. So I make peace with all my demons I just want to live the way I’m dreaming. You can conceal me with your rusty chains My eye is open Now I’ve noticed That it’s time to change I find it strange how all these people seem to fight the pain. When you accept it You will finally start to find your range. I shoot to move the target. I raise the bar Cause If I don’t thenI’ll be moving past it. Music is what I chose to master. I’m moving faster than I should Sometimes I lose my armour. I lose my heart along the path But I’m a Dalaï Lama. And if you take away my pain I will never be the same. So I make peace with all my demons I just want to live the way I’m dreaming.
7.
When I try and write it’s like I fight myself, The war inside my mind is why I’m high I need to find myself. I live a story only time can tell, Eight billion people in this world That’s more than I can help. I’m alive and well But still I’m close to finding hell, The devil on my shoulder Keeps my burning heart inside its shell. I like to laugh it off Acting like I’m hardly lost, I’m still looking where the target was. I’m sitting here my arms are crossed, When I start thinking it gets hard to stop - I should take my time my life is fast enough. I’ve been really stuck up in my mind: I’m trying to master love. And I don’t really need to be a genius I question life So as to find out what the meaning is, They don’t believe me When I try and start to speak of it. They don’t really want to hear the truth But now I’m deeping it. I keep on swimming in the deeper end, Learning to love myself I need to learn to keep a friend I try to save time But it’s a currency I need to spend. People need love, Me I just need a pen. I really need to peak so I can breath again. I’m clearly just asleep Is this a dream I’m in? I’m neglecting everyone that’s ever loved me I’ve been smoking so much weed And I’ll keep smoking until it numbs me I’m a renegade - Running in the hopes of finding better days I, fous on these verses and the role that every letter plays. This is how I’ll do it I don’t care if there’s a “better way”, I keep reducing the illusions of a better place. I seize the moment I squeeze it and see it glowing it seems that I keep on going I’m seeking a deeper notion. The deepest oceans are clearer than my emotions I’m blind when my eyes are open I’m higher than I had noticed. Wrong decisions are the chance to find a better me. I love my music, love my self A love that never sleeps. I hate the truth in all the things hat I could never be - But I refuse to be a victim of my memories.
8.
I set my lungs alight to find a touch of inner peace. We’re in a dream But all these people seem to disbelieve it. I’m believing in my hopes of finding victory, Doubt has shrouded all my progress but I will defeat it. So now my mind is made up I think I’ll finally wake up, I’ll wake up everyone around me who knows where that takes us? This life’s a struggle it will trouble you, But victory is turning L’s int a W. Live a dream, live in peace Fall in love with you. Self love will really teach you what your love can do. Your love can save a country, Feed the hungry, give them clothes Or maybe gift them something, Give some hope to all these kids that seem to live for nothing… cause, The world we’re living in is dyeing out, But that’s no reason to be lazy And to lie around. Are feet are floating through the air We need to find the ground. We need to learn, the key to life Is in the lions mouth. So I face my fears And that can take some years. I’m giving everything I’ve got And never wasting tears. Because this life’s a gift, But still we chose to put our lives at risk, My head is always in the clouds When I am writing this I ain’t never really ever been as high as this. And that’s a silver lining I focus all my energy until I feel enlightened. So now I brighten up I understand the meaning I’m looking closer now I’m proud of all my past achievements And they hold me down. I’m in loads of debt, And I’ve been over-stressed, But I live the life I do And live with no regrets. I thought I had a lot prove but really no one checks.. So stop with the self-criticism, I know I I’ve come a long way With all this lyricism My life is now in tune with all my biggest visions, I’m making big decisions I’m making music for the people Who are living different - And living recklessly, Living life for every moment Until we rest in peace. I was searching for the person that has slept in me Now I finally see the person that I’m meant to be. And I see the light keeps shining bright, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Only really now I feel alive, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know that to live is frightening, But I’m searching for the silver linings.

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released May 16, 2020

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natestapes London, UK

My dreams and ambitions have led me here, aged 20, I'm now looking to jump start my music career.
Rap is more than a craft or a job to me. It brings my emotions to life and I feel myself live through it. I hope I can convey this in my songs.
I'm always looking for ways to improve, increasing the possible outcomes of my work tenfold.
My feet are, and always will be firmly planted on the ground.
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